Caught in the Friend Zone

I just read this satirical article in The Onion and it made me laugh…but then I thought about how many guys actually DO find themselves in this situation.

Yes, this article is on a “fake news site” and is intended for comedic purposes…but that does not make it any less true.

If there’s a girl you’ve been trapped in the friend zone with, I want you to take 93 seconds to read this humorous article:

Why She Won’t Start Dating You

Amusing, huh!?

But how many of you have found yourself in a similar situation.

You want nothing more than to rip her clothes off and she wants nothing more than for you to be her little lap dog that will respond to her beck & call.

And I’ll hate to say it, but it must be said…

Have you ever considered that women are not the only guilty party when it comes to grooming issues. Yes, we guys may be really annoyed with the length of time it takes for our girlfriend to get ready, their reliance on blow dryers, and purses full of hair and makeup products.

But guys’ grooming habits can annoy women just as much, as well as spoil any chance that we may have with women.

It’s not necessarily the things you do — it’s the things you don’t do. Sure, women like men to be men, but we don’t need to be cavemen. So look over this list of some of our biggest grooming turn-offs and see if you recognize anything about yourself. Then, follow our simple advice on how to deal. The following advice has been written by women that were asked about their pet peeves in guys’ appearance:

Jacked-up toenails
Think we don’t notice how awful your feet look? Well, we get pedicures, paint our toenails, and wear uncomfortable shoes in part to make our feet look hot. So we notice feet. Make Sunday nail-trimming day and don’t let the white part grow past the end of your toe. If your nails look yellow, go to a dermatologist or podiatrist. ‘Cause that ain’t right.

Bacne
Back + acne = “bacne.” And it’s not attractive. So use a back brush and body wash containing salicylic acid. Also, remove your sweaty workout clothes ASAP after exercising and shower right away; sweat clogs pores and causes zits.

Chewed hangnails
Women love to look at your hands because we imagine them touching us. That fantasy is a lot less satisfying when the skin around your nails is gnawed into hamburger. So stop biting and apply hand lotion around your nails before bed. It’ll soak in overnight, and after a couple weeks you’ll undo the damage.

I am sure that by now, everybody has heard about Kanye West’s on stage interruption saga last weekend when he interrupted Taylor Swift’s award acceptance speech to say how he thought that Taylor Swift’s video was better. Granted, it was said he had been drinking, but still, what he did ruined his stance as a man, and he lost respect from everybody.

There are several lessons one can learn from this incident.

1) Think before you act. As was said so well in the Godfather movie, “Do not hate anybody. Anger clouds the mind”. You can lose a woman with just one sentence.

2) If you think of doing something to show that you are strong, think again, lest your actions might be perceived as that a bully. Nobody likes bullies, especially ones that bully “innocent young girls”, like Taylor Swift is perceived to be.

3) Women see things different than men do. There is a universal sisterhood among women, and women will perceive harm done to one woman as harm done to all women in the world. Women will much more easily put themselves in another woman’s shoes and ask themselves, what if this happened to me, what would I do?

Why are you selling yourself short?

Most guys are treating their dating life like a super-cheap investment. They go out to bars and on town and ogle the high-price stocks (the beautiful girls) but they shy away from actually entering the game and spending investment capital (their dating skills.)

Stop settling for poor performance and poor return from minimal effort. You shouldn’t let yourself accept that what you’re getting right now is the best you can get in terms of return, and you certainly should look at where you can raise the bar for your own performance.

How can you improve?

Accept the fact that nobody knows it all. There is always something you need to work on and improve. And this goes for any skill, trade or profession in life. The funny thing is that as you get better, the skill will be so intertwined with your personality that it will flow effortlessly from you rather than being forced out.

Where can you improve?

Start aiming higher and actually believing that it is within your reach. Can you see where you’re not getting the results you want and make a move on a real investment?

Are you dating someone right now?

Are you dating somebody right now that you’re not getting the kind of return on investment you want, and you want to figure out how to improve the yield?

Don’t accept what you’re given freely. Chances are that almost anybody will give you all that you want if you’ll only have the guts to actually put your foot down and demand it.

Remember, people don’t give you their best until you ask for it, and expect it. What you’re getting right now is their minimum effort to get any return from you. The more you give them back and the less fuss you make for substandard performance, the less they figure they need to do for you.

This is especially true in dating. This may sound pessimistic, but it’s a real fact of human nature. We slide by with a minimum of effort wherever possible.

Be careful not to let this attitude creep into your abilities with women.

Ask for more, from her — AND from you. Now go and get some…